{"id":1341,"date":"2021-04-19T11:42:24","date_gmt":"2021-04-19T01:42:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/?p=1341"},"modified":"2021-04-19T11:42:25","modified_gmt":"2021-04-19T01:42:25","slug":"more-than-just-a-friendship","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/2021\/04\/19\/more-than-just-a-friendship\/","title":{"rendered":"More than just a friendship"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Sophie and Jason lived together and were good friends before becoming romantically involved. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

32-year-old Sophie Kildea remembers when she first met Jason Russo like it was yesterday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was really little. I met Jase at the hospital,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They were both in having grommets put into their ears. Sophie\u2019s mum Robyn can\u2019t believe she remembers that first encounter. It doesn\u2019t sound all that romantic, but there must have been a connection right from the start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Where they really first connected though was at the Special Olympics, when Sophie was about 8 years old.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI first remember Jason was kind and he was very friendly, and he always made me laugh.\u201d    <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe became friends. Yes, we did,\u201d Jason says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe used to train together. And then we played basketball together. We were just friends. For a lot of years.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As they got older their parents thought it would be a good idea for them to become roommates and try living together as friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOur parents said we should move out of home and get more independent,\u201d says Sophie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI was feeling happy moving in with Jase.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI just wanted to be independent and learn skills like cooking and that stuff. It was a good idea. I wasn\u2019t worried to live with Sophie,\u201d Jason says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They both received the Supported Living Fund (SLF), so Robyn and Kerri, Jason\u2019s mum, started to plan how the move should work.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s what the SLF was meant to do for them, it was to get them out of home. There was a group of six families, and we all threw ideas around. But logistically having six people living together with six lots of parents deciding what to do wasn\u2019t going to work,\u201d Kerri says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, Robyn and I had a plan B. This was it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSoph and Jason got on so well together \u2013 they have very similar personalities. But she\u2019s very much about time management and having routine. Jason is not. So, they bounce off each other.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Planning for the move was a big task, and Jason\u2019s mum Kerri says it was important they were all on the same page before going ahead with everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI think the most important thing was that we actually had the same plan and were going in the same direction of how we wanted this to work,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThings like how many support workers to come in and at what time, how many hours they\u2019d work. We had to find someone who would suit both Jase and Sophie. It was important to have someone they liked and knew their moods.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019d been planning this for a very long time. I\u2019d say Sophie was 18 when we first started talking about it,\u201d Robyn says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou want your kids to be independent if they can. And so, there was always something in my head about her taking that step.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When they first moved in, Sophie and Jason would only spend one night together each week. Then it was two, then three, with a night in between to go back home. This helped with the transition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

But with all the years of planning the big move, neither Robyn nor Kerri anticipated what would happen next.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe\u2019d been friends for a long time. Then we decided to be a couple, and we decided to date,\u201d Sophie says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jason agrees: \u201cWe really clicked.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jason and Sophie\u2019s friendship blossomed into a romantic relationship after spending a lot more time together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt first started at bowling in 2016. We went on a couple of dates. We went to the movies. It was fun.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Jason previously had a girlfriend, and Sophie already had a different boyfriend before they moved in. When they broke up at a similar time the stars aligned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe didn\u2019t think it was a good idea at first, but they persevered with us,\u201d Robyn says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sophie organised a meeting for them all to get together to have a chat about the changing nature of their relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI just told them I was very happy, and that he makes me feel happy and loved,\u201d says Sophie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kerri agrees that they\u2019ve been very good for each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Like any relationship though, there are occasional issues over things like personal space, but it has been a matter of having open communication.<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt comes and goes. Mostly they\u2019re pretty harmonious,\u201d says Robyn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSometimes Sophie does something she shouldn’t have, or Jase might lose his cool if he\u2019s had a tough day at work. But the support workers are very good with that and settling things down. Soph realises she needs to give him a bit of space sometimes. We try and work things out together and work out some of the ideas about why that might have happened, so it doesn\u2019t happen again,\u201d Kerri says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Their support workers regularly give them advice on open communication, and it has helped strengthen their relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSometimes they do talk to us,\u201d says Sophie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey ask what happened and we do tell them what happened. It helps fix things.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a bit hard keeping him in line,\u201d Sophie laughs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut we love each other a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can read Down Syndrome Australia’s Healthy Relationships and Sexuality guide here<\/a>. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

This article is available in the following formats to download:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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PDF<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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WORD<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Being friends is the most important thing in a romantic relationship. And when you\u2019ve been friends for over two decades, there\u2019s a good chance you\u2019ve chosen the right person.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1354,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_relevanssi_hide_post":"","_relevanssi_hide_content":"","_relevanssi_pin_for_all":"","_relevanssi_pin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_unpin_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_keywords":"","_relevanssi_related_include_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_exclude_ids":"","_relevanssi_related_no_append":"","_relevanssi_related_not_related":"","_relevanssi_related_posts":"1336,1098,1103,1121,1229,850","_relevanssi_noindex_reason":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[9,105,19,101,65],"class_list":["post-1341","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-down-syndrome","tag-friendship","tag-independence","tag-living-independently","tag-relationships"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1341"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1341\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1353,"href":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1341\/revisions\/1353"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1354"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.downsyndrome.org.au\/voice\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}